I heard a story of a group of people who found a 4-month old abandoned German shepherd who was suffering from dehydration. The puppy also suffered from bruises all over its body. The people said that the puppy avoided them and for the first month, whenever they came near it, it would shrink and tremble. When they tried to reach out their hand to pet it, it would cower in the corner because it had learned to expect abuse from the hands of humans. It feared the world that it had come to know. It is the same way with children who develop their perception of the world based on how their first caretakers care for them. If they had good parents then they develop strong trust muscles. If they had bad parents then they develop weak trust muscles and their ability to bond is hindered. It is through these experiences that we draw a mental map of the world and then we order our journey around it.

This is not something we do consciously. It is kind of like touching a hot stove and the brain warning us not to do that again. The puppy, however, had not been warned not to touch a hot stove but not to connect with humans. The only problem is that the puppy’s mental map was now outdated. When we are older and are removed from a painful setting, our brain does not automatically update. In the new setting, it begins to draw a barrier, based on old data, which prevents us from living fulfilling lives and relating to others. The key question that we all have to ask is, “Am I using an old map to live, govern, or dictate my life?” Distorted thinking is like outdated maps, but we do not know that we are still using antiquated maps to help us find our way.