An unpolished gemstone looks no different from an ordinary piece of gravel. To polish it, you need three things: a rock tumbler, some abrasive grit, and at least one other stone. A rock tumbler is little more than a jar lying on its side atop a series of rollers. Inside the jar, you place some abrasive grit, the unpolished gemstone and at least one other stone . When the tumbler begins to roll, the rocks will slowly rise up the wall of the jar and then drop, crashing into one another over and over again. Each time they collide, the grit removes a tiny bit of the surface material on top of the gemstone. Each time they collide the stones become smoother and smoother but it’s a very slow process. What happens if you forget the abrasive grit? The stones will still collide, but without an abrasive grit, there is nothing to smooth the stones. They’ll continue to crash into each other and perhaps even chip or damage each other. However, the finished product will look no smoother than it did when you began.

Think about it. Stone is struck thousands of time, but still isn’t polish. And you know what happens if you forget another stone? Absolutely nothing. The lone rock will tumble, but with nothing to strike against, it simply rises and falls. There will still be some abrasion as the stone bounces against the side of the jar, but without another stone, something of equal hardness the polishing process could take years instead of weeks. If we apply this to our lives, as you can imagine, it’s not exactly pleasant to be the other rock in somebody else’s tumbler. It’s not pleasant to collide with your spouse. But at times, that’s the growth process in relationships. God will drop two stones of equal hardness into the tumbler of marriage with He Himself as the abrasive grit. With His help, we smooth and polish one another. Without Him, we simply collide, but we are not refined!